There are days when I have clear perspective and appreciation for this season in my life. More on that here. Then…there are other days, where I’m just mad at my husband, the world, and ultimately God. Yesterday was one of those days!
Mad at God
My fear about my uncertain future turned to anger toward God. “Lord, haven’t I been faithful?! I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to do! I’ve been obedient! Lord, you haven’t provided a job for me. I started a business like you said to do, but it’s struggling. You didn’t deliver me like you said you would! You told me to go to school and now I’m in school! But you’re not giving me the resources to pay for it!”
I’m sure many of you can relate to this sentiment. I’m not saying that it’s right, but that is really where I’ve been the last few days. Thankfully, I know that my God is merciful and hears my cries. Job also prayed and spoke angrily to God – he repented for it later…
Today, I was reading from Matthew 6:25-34
‘”Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?’Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. ‘
I am very familiar with this scripture but today, something stuck out to me that hadn’t before.
“BUT seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
I oftentimes quote this verse, but today I saw it in context. It’s saying, you worry about all these things, food, clothing, shelter – God provides for the birds, grass, flowers…you who are more valuable, God will SURELY provide for you. BUT, there’s a but! ”
BUT, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Reality Check – All These Things Will Be Added Unto You
It’s saying, don’t worry! God will provide! Seek first his kingdom! Eyes set on the kingdom! Eyes set on his righteousness! God will handle the rest! All these things will be added to you!
The reality is that despite being unemployed for nearly 2 years, God has never let me down. I have never been hungry. I have never been without clothes. My fridge and cupboards are jam-packed with food. I have plenty of clothes, especially since working retail! and also thanks to Poshmark! I’ve even had lots of time to travel! There is no evidence in my life to suggest God has forsaken me. So why the worry?! It really does not add an hour to my life!
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear…'” – Hebrews 13:5-6
There are so many truth bombs packed in these verses:
- Keep your life free from the love of money.
- Be content with what you have.
- Jesus will never leave you or forsake you.
- The Lord is my helper!
Here, scripture warns us to keep free from the love of money. While I don’t think I love money, I definitely see how too much of my hope is placed in money. For instance, the idea that everything will be better once I have a stable income. Then, the verse says to be content with what I have. Deeply rooted in my anger toward God is a dissatisfaction with where I am at and what I have. WHICH, is ridiculous when considering I have plenty! and I am rich in the spirit!
The next truth – Jesus will never leave you or forsake you… Also rooted in my anger toward God was this fear that he has forgotten about me. While I wait on him during this season of my life, it can be easy to think God has forsaken me, which is the farthest thing from the truth. This verse reminds me that Jesus will NEVER leave me or forsake me.
And lastly, The Lord is my helper! Hello?! The Lord is my helper?? He is right beside me to HELP me! Ain’t that crazy?! More on that later…
When You’re Mad at God – All Eyes Set on The Kingdom
So…moving forward, I must set my eyes on Jesus! The theme verse for my life has been Hebrews 12:1-2
“…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross…”
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121:1-2
I want you to think about this for a minute. When we lift up our eyes toward God, we have clear perspective, vision, and eyes to see – my help comes from the Lord. Who is the Lord, he is the CREATOR of heaven and earth, and he chooses to help me! Imagine if you asked someone, who’s helping you on this project? They would likely name a friend or an assistant. Well, you can say, “The LORD is helping me! You know, the God who created heaven and earth! Yea, he is helping me!!”
“To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us.”
Look to Jesus until he has mercy on us. Wait on the Lord. Don’t take your eyes off of him!
Sufficiency in Christ
Back to the first scripture in Matthew 6:
“THEREFORE do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Do you know what else is sufficient? God’s grace.
“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:9-10
At the end of the day, I have no right to be mad with God. And, I can only be angry with God in a world where everything is about me. Ultimately, I’m mad because things aren’t working out the way I want them to. But, when my focus shifts to reality and I have the right perspective toward God, I realize, I can’t be angry! Thankfully, God is gracious toward me. While right now I’m not exactly where I want to be in life, this scripture reminds me that God has me right where he wants me. He loves it when I’m weak, because then the POWER of CHRIST rests upon me! When I am weak, then I am strong!
My prayer for you and for me is that we would grow in our contentment with Christ, contentment with weaknesses and hardships…knowing that Christ will meet us there. I also pray that we wouldn’t lose sight of Christ, always looking to him as the lens through which we view our lives.
Thanks so much for visiting. Please leave a comment letting me know your thoughts on this post! If there is anyway I can pray for you, please let me know!